Dating a Sailor

“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.”
Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

  • How do you do it?
  • Isn’t he like away a lot?
  • Aren’t you scared he will cheat on you?

These are constant questions I hear/asked on a daily basis. Dating a Sailor can be hard. These questions however always seem harder and I remain hesitant on how to answer them.

I deal with this situation because I love him. If you love someone you will help them pursue their dreams but I can assure you at the same time I will also follow mine.

He isn’t away much at the moment in time, it will become more regular in the next few months which will also include longer periods at sea. I know that this situation requires determination, great patience and clear communication by both of us.

The cheating question I get asked so often,  it is scary! Soldiers clearly  the worst reputation for cheating, why else would I constantly be asked this? People fail to realise cheating can happen anywhere. Cheating can happen anywhere. My ex husband and I dated for three years, after the third year we were engaged the fourth we were married and a few months into the marriage I found out he had been cheating on me with 5 other girls. (Some before we got married) who knows what else he had been doing? This was someone I lived with, who never had crazy explanations or went MIA for 3 days at a time. He was not a sailor, just a simple Carpenter.  I cannot let the fear of someone cheating on me prevent me from having a loving and longing relationship.

I hold faith in our relationship, it will work out. We have such an appreciation and fondness for each other, that counts! I had someone today say: “What if you waste your time on him, and find out after the next four years?” You know what, I can’t think like that. No one should think like that. You should always remember you are not wasting time if this fulfills your desires now. I can assure you this is what I want and in ten years time if it doesn’t work out at least I tried and I was his staunch supporter.


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