What, to do?

“The same thing that makes friendship so valuable is what makes it so tenuous: it is purely voluntary. You enter into it freely, without the imperatives of biology or the agenda of desire. Officially, you owe each other nothing.”

Tim KreiderWe Learn Nothing

Recently I have had a friend who I was very close with come out of his depression. Who apologised for his ways towards me and our friendship. I’m unsure what to do.

About 6 months ago he started dating his ex. She is a horrendous woman. To give you some insight, last time they dated she had three other guys on the go. Which she didn’t even feel remorse for. Well not until she realized he wouldn’t stand for it. Her excuse was that he was not giving her enough attention. He actually felt responsible. I helped him a lot during this time. Endless phone calls outings. The stuff you do as a friend to help your friend move on and be happier. During this time it caused issues between myself and my partner. I’m not sure if he was jealous or concerned for my well being? As you could imagine being the crutch for a friend can start to get draining.

Without a word my friend just stopped talking to me. Someone that I could have conversations with and make me laugh just decided our friendship was up? I tried to talk to him. He would either ignore me or claim nothing was wrong. My friend and my partner thought he had feel in love with me and wanted to keep distance. But I felt he had gotten back with his ex and decided it was embarrassing to tell me that after I helped him with so much. So I let it be.

Now he has caught his ex/gf doing the same old thing. (No surprises there) He apologised to me and asked me for forgiveness and that he really missed our friendship but he knew I’d be mad that he got back with his ex, so it was easier for him to live in his bubble, without my judgment.

What should I do? I’ve told him, I will have to think what I want. That I don’t think we can be as close anymore. I did really miss my friend, through out the last 6 months. –



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