stoned off accupuncture

Wow. Just wow

Today was my first time trying it and I drooled, like a baby. I feel incredible. I need to do this more often.

Highly recommend! A++

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Being Raised by Separated Parents

I really struggled growing up with two parents that were separated. Not in the obvious-dreamy-child like way where I wanted them to get back together.

But more so in the inconsistency of information and different forms of parenting I was given during my prime development years. I believe I missed quite huge amounts of growth because my parents always assumed the other parent had told me.

An example of this was when I was 6, my dads best friends daughter had down-syndrome. (at this age I did not know what this was) I always knew she was “different” but I liked that about her. Her older brother had schizophrenia. (I also did not know he had this) One day it was my friends idea to make signs and stick them up all around the house, they had nonsense like the toilet wasn’t the toilet but kitchen, you know kid stuff? My friend decided to write that her brother was mean and stick it on his door. It said “Nathan is Mean” he had an episode due to it and was screaming and yelling, i was beyond terrified. I was sent home and was in loads of trouble and had to do all these chores for weeks. The problem with this situation is my dad assumed I knew why. I could never ask him for clarification because he would always get angrier.

Years later, my mum brought it up when we saw a down-syndrome girl walking past us. My mum said you were so insensitive in that situation. I said to her that I never knew she had that, no one ever told me? How was I supposed to know? (this happens all the time with both parents) All I remember is that I missed out on hotdogs!

Another example, was when I got my period. My Step-mum gave me this book which was clearly one you do as mother and daughter. It even had bits in the book like “Explain how tampons work to your daughter” but nothing further. So much guess work as a child.

Plus my mum is a hippie/criminal/creative type and my dad is straight edge/emotionless/quiet type and my stepmum is the I have my own kids to worry about type.

Anyways, please be consistent and clear with your parenting. Talk to your child, tell them everything. EVEN, if you think they know.

I could write a book on this topic alone, I have hundreds of examples.

awkward social interactions #109

I was pulled over for a breathalyzer and the cop asked how much I had been drinking. I honestly thought we were doing the whole “small talk” thing. So I asked her if she in for a long night and her response “Why, so you can see if you can drive drunk later, tonight?” And proceeded to tell me that they were in force tonight, so I should think again about driving drunk. /so confused

Lemon Custard Tart

Today on my lunch break a store was giving away custard tarts to try, they offered me and a “gentleman” behind me one. I refused however the man behind me didnt answer. So she repeated “Would you like to try this free lemon custard tart?” The man responded with “I’D FUCKING LIKE TO EAT YOUR CUSTARD TART” in which he took the tart off the tray and gave her the most intimate eye contact while he was eating it and then he ran away?

It took herself and I a long time to register what had just happened. I could not stop laughing. But afterwards I was thinking, wow that man is so deeply disturbed.

Freckles

“Madame? What do I look like?”
“You have many thousands of freckles.”
“Papa used to say they were like stars in heaven. Like apples in a tree.”

― Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See

I am currently reading this book and read the line as quoted above. This is honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever read.

Perhaps it’s I am covered in freckles in which in-turn caused me to be teased relentlessly during my school years. Which now in bizarre turn around all the people and friends in which mocked me for my appearance, are envious of my ivory, freckle ruled skin and auburn hair.

So if I happen to have a child that somehow over rides my boyfriends dominant gene. I will tell the child everyday about how they are a mutant, one of the X-Men like my mother told me.

But more importantly, I will tell my child that their freckles are stars they are magnificent decorative constellations ~ to show the world how incredible their inner being is.

You Have to Love Yourself

You have to wake up in the morning, brew yourself some coffee acknowledge your surroundings. Acknowledge passers by, tell that girl you think her skirt is amazing and provide that guy with a compliment for the sunglasses he is wearing or the way he styled his hair.

BE NICE. not superficial nice, the nice that is genuine, the nice that people will smile at and know you are interested in them and where they are from and their creative soul.

If you have a bad day, jump in the shower burn your skin clean. Light some sage, listen to music. CLEAN YOUR ROOM – this can do wonders.

STOP – letting yourself get upset over things you CAN’T control. You can be sensitive, but don’t hold a grudge that lasts two years. Don’t overthink it. You don’t have to rely on everyone else’s opinion.

You are your own person.

Please, love yourself!

Letters to a Young Poet – Rainer Maria Rilke

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

If you have not read this book, do yourself a favour and read it. Read it repeatedly, every time you read it you will take something else away from it.

I can’t recommend this book enough for the creative mind.

I always give this book 5/5 stars

Let Down

I am in a bit of a dull mood today. My boyfriend leaves on Friday and I am supposed to stay at his tomorrow night but he told me he isn’t feeling very well and I may as well not come before he leaves so he can get better and sleep.

I can’t help but flip the situation around, I would muster all my energy even for a few minutes just too see him. Am I being an old romantic? Am I too hooked on this relationship? Maybe I need to draw back?

I feel sometimes his expectations of me are unfair.

I will get over it tomorrow, but I feel he shouldn’t be able to sulk about missing me if he can’t be bothered seeing me for one night before he leaves.

Some Women

So last night I had my boyfriends going away drinks and must I say, some women are just so rude.

He had to invite everyone to it, even people he hasn’t seen in over a year. Some of these girls he use to live with, some are nice but mostly all of them are just beyond ugly hideous people. They think I have “stolen’ their friend. When really he has just outgrown their lets get drunk every weekend in the backyard and never explore anything mentality.

He has a few girl friends, I use the term “girl” because it is like they are still stuck in the early primary school early days of highschool years where having a clique was everything. I said hello with an unwary smile. (I usually know how they will act) as per usual I got no reply and the cold shoulder. I know I shouldn’t take this stuff to heart. But all my friends are so warm and responsive people, they take anyone under their wing and provide everyone with love.  They have showed my boyfriend and abundance of love and acceptance.

This is what fires me up and he uses excuses for them such as “They have depression and anxiety…” that really gets me, because in a group of 6 girls one cant wander over all the whole group just say hi, in unison?

Does anyone else have this trouble with certain groups?

I really hope this is the last dealings with them for now and the future. I am just so done with negative people that stunt our growth.

Last nights encounter!

Hello Childhood hero
Hello Childhood,

I can’t tell you how much the Snuggle Pot and Cuddlepie Adventures series mean to me. They helped me form my imagination and take me away from all the negativity that was around me when I was growing up. I know you would probably say, we all go through stuff like that. I won’t justify the severity. One day when I’m confident enough at this, I will provide more of an insight.

May Gibbs is a brilliant writer and I thank her for providing me with such beautiful and wise friends.

What a wonderful find on a time I needed it most. 🍄🌌🌻🌈🎠