There is a lady that rides around my suburb on the most colorful bike I have ever seen! Which has a bubble machine on the back and just rides around and I think, that woman is so wonderful.It just makes me smile so much to see bubbles and the world needs more people like that!

Hi, I am a big mess.

Today instead of counting my change well in advance before I got to my favorite coffee shop, I ordered my coffee at their counter and gathered my coins that were sporadically strewn through my bag, because today I am clearly reckless.


Yumi Sakugawa.jpg
Image credit: Artist, Yumi Sakugawa


Do you ever have days that you are yearning a presence so much that it begins to be unbearable.

Passing souls, you feel a sharp shallow disturbance. They appear numb to your afflictions, continuing with their everyday errands.

They all seem so blissfully unaware your heart is in deep anguish, your world is collapsing.


Image credit – Growth/Decay, Artist: Jennifer Parks




Today was weird.

Usually I try and be more creative with my subject lines or at least try something a bit different and not give away what my blog is about. I do not have it in me today to change it.

My day started as most Mondays do, getting out of bed groggy eyed, reminiscing the Sunday sleep in and instantly regretting getting out of bed at all. As I am on the train people are also in the sleep walking mode and I love that I don’t have to hear Susan or Katie or some other woman’s name bitching about her friends, coworkers or family for 40 minutes and repeating the same details again and again to the point that you actually feel sorry for her narcissistic ways and daydream about all the scenarios in which you can help her, but you don’t. You just sit there, dreamy eyed half paying attention to the stops because there has been a few too many times in which you have missed your stop.

Now to the weird part, I get off at the right stop and there is someone dressed like a giant Pikachu, obviously something to do with the Pokemon Go craze? But there is no one around them and they are just walking back and forth, not saying anything. I started to see how dirty their costume was and walked very fast in the opposite direction.

I get to work and my manager states within the first ten minutes of me being there: “I have to tell you something but you can’t get mad?” straight away I am mad. I cant stand people telling me how to handle my emotions.(the red head in me takes over) He proceeds to tell me anyways, ignoring my annoyance. Pretty much the short  version is that someone at my work has put in a complaint for me talking to much at work? The crazy thing is, I dont talk much at work. I am always listening to Podcasts and I only talk when asked to? Because there is a huge age gap between my coworkers and I. They tell ‘Ya mumma jokes all day long. Being born after them, I enjoy memes and not repeating the same thing repeatedly. So that was really odd and I am dreading tomorrow when I am around them, mainly because I think I am possibly going to be a child about it. I just dont know how I can stop talking that much that I have been accused when I barely talk at all.

The last odd thing is when I was on my way home from work I got off at my station and this elderly lady pointed at me and called me “Pappa” before I could retaliate this younger lady pulled her away. I have so many questions for this lady.

A)Do I look like a man?

B) Do I look like an elderly man?

C) Should I rethink these glasses?

D) Were you just fucking with me?

The Girls – Emma Cline

I finished this book in two days, wow. It is such an easy read, makes you relive that teenage anguish in a way that I have not felt when reading in a long time. This book is has a strong Charles Mason cult story line. In a different way,  it makes you look at the followers in a different way.

Some of my favourite quotes are as below:

“That was part of being a girl–you were resigned to whatever feedback you’d get. If you got mad, you were crazy, and if you didn’t react, you were a bitch. The only thing you could do was smile from the corner they’d backed you into. Implicate yourself in the joke even if the joke was always on you.”
― Emma Cline, The Girls

“So much of desire, at that age, was a willful act. Trying so hard to slur the rough, disappointing edges of boys into the shape of someone we could love. We spoke of our desperate need for them with rote and familiar words, like we were reading lines from a play. Later I would see this: how impersonal and grasping our love was, pinging around the universe, hoping for a host to give form to our wishes.”
― Emma Cline, The Girls

This book made me cringe so much at my own adolescence years, the yearn to be noticed.