What to do with your old Wedding Dress?

help! I recently got divorced. soooo, I desperately need to get rid of my wedding dress. I get the heebie jeebies everytime i see it sitting there. In my wardrobe..

I have an old Anna Campbell wedding dress, I don’t want to keep it. I am either wanting to sell it all donate it to some good cause. The issue is, in Australia there isn’t many options.

I have searched the web, for I would rather give it to someone who can’t afford one…but most of our op shops will charge roughly what I paid for it.

So any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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Your worth

OKAY – I have to get something off my chest. I apologise if it comes of as harsh or not clear.

I have quite a few friends at the moment that are recently single and which makes them fragile and very vulnerable and what does society say when you break up with someone? – Get with another guy, get onto online dating, have a one night stand..etc.

So, my mates have all been on the recently single exploring everything band wagon, no biggie. Which results in lust and chasing and playing games.

I want to share one story with you, bit off topic but to give you an idea what they are putting up with because my friends think this is what they should be doing. So a good friend met a guy online, went on a date with him. Which he over exaggerated, so the whole thing was a huge let down to her. Because the night had been such a flake she got really drunk went home with him and while they were starting to get heated he placed his finger in her belly button and said “Mmm that’s a good belly button, that’s years of good breeding right there” he also was touching her down below and pull his hand out sniffed it and said “yeah, yeah that smells like familiar” honestly, if i was in this position i would have just walked straight out. But her, eager to get the upper hand in life and what she should be doing stayed. There is so much more to that story, but the take away part is she said she felt like she had to be sleeping with someone else before her ex. Which this is exactly how all my friends feel. BECAUSE everyone harps on about quick and easy ways for getting over the guy to them. It is usually their friends, coworkers and family members.

The other side of this is when they really like someone and they sleep with them and they never call back or play games to them. My friends really start to stress that there is things wrong with them. Like they were too hairy, timid, loud, annoying, opinionated, animated in bed. (this list can go on forever) My friends actually take it personally, I am unsure why women especially take it so hard. I am constantly reminding my friends that it may never be any of those things maybe they just wanted to get laid and they weren’t overly interested in you or they are just as broken.

GALS: you are all beautiful, do not place your worth in someone hands; because they will most definitely destroy it.

anyways, end rant!

Why You Should Write

“There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.” -Sarah Kay

Today I feel very raw, in an apologetic way, I just keep saying sorry to everyone. I have spent the whole weekend healing my broken friends. Who for some strange reason, all their boyfriends happened to dump them at the same time. I had a very close friend have a miscarriage. who has been trying to fall pregnant for such a long time, even writing this my heart is breaking and the tears are welling up my eyes. Which in return my empathetic ways have somehow sucked up all their pain and hurt and transferred it, unwillingly into myself.

The weekend also included quite a large amount of nostalgia – my childhood friends visited and we discussed old times, which to you, probably doesn’t sounds like a huge deal. My childhood and teen years weren’t easy, I grew up with a highly intelligent psychopath for a mother. Which people often mistook for a carefree spirit. They reminded me of so many “funny” tales about my mother and growing up, which at the time I laughed, but I think this has stirred something in me, in which has laid dormant for a long time. I feel angry and annoyed at my mother, all over again. WHICH I know, is soooooo pointless. I have worked hard to resolve childhood issues but I understand now, what I have resolved will need to be resolved again and most likely continuously in my life. It will have a lot to do with forgiveness.

Because of this sudden change to my inner being and aurora, I have been eating very badly, which in turn effects my health quite dramatically and I FEEL so sombre. I just want to sit in bed and read Sylvia Plath and listen to super sad songs. The thing is, I am not going through a break up. Quite the opposite, I am very happy with my boyfriend. We communicate so clearly, but someone how all my friends issues and everything has stirred something inside me and I am unsure how to fix it? I think in a weeks time I will read this and think how silly I was to take this so intensely.

I am raw, I have a big heart and an unfiltered kindness, I am soft and mostly quiet, I have a combination of red hair, green eyes and pale skin. Which took me longer then I would like to admit to love and accept. You can almost always find me in a floral dress with many accessories, such as, my lack of hand eye coordination and inability to finish a full story, without cutting myself off and starting another story which relates to something completely unrelated, not to me, to the listener. I hate handshakes and small talk. I prefer to hug and talk about your dreams. I dislike 5 star restaurants, although thoroughly enjoy 2 star restaurants where I can eat breakfast food all day. This is who I am, and I think the way I do and it’s okay to feel down and stressed because we require days like this to show us how great the better days can be.

I write to learn what I am thinking, what I am looking at, what I have seen and what it means.

Already I am beginning to feel lighter.

train conversations

Overheard conversation on train: “JAKE. SHE IS 15, What on earth was she doing staying at a 23 year olds house. How, did she think it would pan out? Christ, she doesnt even look 15. That guy, is gonna end up on jail. Just because she was lonely. What am I going to say to him at work tomorrow? I’m definetly bringing the police into this. He needs to learn a lesson…” Jake:…. Tries to utter something. Woman: you’re really fucking helpful. Great parenting Jake. Great fucking parenting on our behalf. But, mostly this is your fault.

Make up, help?

MAKE UP LOVERS OF THE PALE SKIN VARIETY – PLEASE HELP! PLEEEEEEASE.

So, I have super pale skin. I am always trying to find a shade or product right for my skin tone. It is pale and some pink undertones..most make up comes with yellow undertones.

I have been using illamasqua for the last two months now and it definitely looks better then a lot of the other products out there. But I am after some help, what are products you use? What would  you recommend for pale and oily skin?

Ultimately, I just wanna look like a smoking hot porcelain doll when I leave the house.

Gal Pals

“I love flawed female characters, duking it out.” –Lena Dunham

So, last night I met up with two of my girlfriends for some tea and cake at our favorite tea place. While we were there we were admiring the weather and decided that we required some booze to add to our already fun filled night.

We decided to go to a bar near the water and truly ravish in the afternoons sun and warmth. While we were drinking one of my friends was saying how she hates when she is with a guy and she is sleeping with him, that she always has to forewarn him that she is on her period in-case he decides to just shove his hands down there. So, on the weekend she got buzzed and forgot to warn him. He went down on her and came up straight away horrified, she said he had a clump of her blood in his mouth. Her response? “I bet that tasted like raw steak” – I am crying of laughter while writing this, because the guy, still likes her and wants to date her after that comment! Oh, and situation!

SO GUYS, Love exists.

a french woman

At the Post Office yesterday, my boyfriend and I met a lovely French woman. She had just turned 82 and wanted to sing a song in French for everyone in the Post Office. She ended the song wishing everyone love and good fortune. So adorable and the world requires more people like her.

Memories

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”
― Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Isn’t it weird how your senses can evoke a feeling so painful, that you can forget where you are or what you were doing?

I was collecting my boyfriend from the airport on Friday night and I knew exactly where I was going. I had driven this road before and usually I knew what was up ahead. I will divert my attention else where or talk to my boyfriend and pretend I do not see it. I do not see the art on the side of the freeway.

The art being wire that is held up by two poles that is formed in a way to show a house, which the light reflects at night, making it seem luminous.

When I was 8 years old, my mother went to jail. The route to this jail, we would pass this art wired house. Even at 8 years old, I would look at this house and think how ironic it was. To see it on the long trip to visit my mum and on the journey back. It would always cause a lump in my throat, to know that this dream house which in my mind, came with a perfect family was never achievable for me. For reasons completely out of my control.

I have now learnt to accept, that I do not have a soul connection with my mother or father. And you know what? – that is okay.

But, every time I see this house it reminds me of years of psychology and pain. Every year it gets slightly easier.

But Friday night, when I stared directly at it, I missed my turn.